Dear Kathi,

All of my relatives seem to think that I am the holding ground for their old stuff and I end up with lots of things that I don’t want. How can I keep my house from being barraged with unwanted heirlooms and family junk?

Joy, Cardiff by the Sea

Joy,

Learn to stand up for yourself and tell your well meaning
relatives politely ‘thanks, but no thanks.’ If they protest, ask them why they feel you should hold onto what they no longer need.
One of the best ways to prevent clutter, is to stop it
before it starts. Do your family members consider your house the dumping ground because you already have a lot of clutter? They might get the impression that you love to collect things so you wouldn’t mind holding onto theirs.

If you are a collector and wish to break this habit now, ask yourself three simple questions before you bring anything new into your home:

1) Ask, ‘Am I going to use it now, or in the near future?’
Or better yet, how many times will I use this in the next year? If it is a family heirloom that landed on your doorstep only because of someone else’s sentimental attachments, just say no.

2) Ask, ‘Am I going to use it ever?’
Lots of clutter piles begin with one simple impulse buy. Make sure that if you will use it, it’s use will make up for the space it takes to own it. If you will only use it once every few months, it’s probably not worth the extra space it’s going to take up in your home.

3) Ask, ‘Where is it going to live?’

Make sure you have a clearly defined space for the item you’re considering adopting or buying. Otherwise, it’s bound to be brought home, put someplace temporarily, and eventually end up in a pile with other items that were not well
thought out.

If the item is going to end up in a pile somewhere without a space to live, forget about it. If there is a space and it won’t cause something else to be displaced, then perhaps it is OK. If there is no space available, and you really want it, you must release something else to make room for the new item.

Be diligent, form new habits and soon you will no longer be the dumping ground for your relatives.

Kathi,

I just graduated from college and I keep hearing that every girl should own a little black dress. I am a size 14 and feel like I will have a hard time finding a little black dress that fits. I have a few events coming up during the holidays and now want to own a little black dress. How do I go about finding this piece?

Jolene, San Marcos

Jolene,

Don’t get alarmed about finding a ‘little’ black dress just because you are a size 14. The majority of women in the US are a size 12 or 14. The idea behind the ‘little’ black dress is that it flatters your figure and makes you ‘look’ little.

The most important feature of your new dress — more important than its designer label or trendiness — is how well it flatters you.
Simple silhouettes like the A-line and sheath are typically the most flattering for all body types. Hemlines that end at the smallest part of your knee will flatter your legs. Not every dress cut will work for your body so you’ll need to do some quick research on your specific needs.

Finding the dress that flatters your figure is as much about playing up your best features as it is about hiding what’s not perfect.
Not sure what your best asset is? Ask a friend or significant other. Or go to a fine women’s clothing store and enlist the salesperson’s help.

The easiest way to look fabulous in your little black dress is to show off your best features. If your legs are spectacular, show them off with a short, fitted dress and stilettos. If you have gorgeous eyes, play them up with off-the-face hair, beautiful makeup and jeweled earrings.
Keep in mind that once you find that perfect dress, you will want to wear it year-round – so buy it in a silk, brocade, organza, or jersey. Fabrics like velvet and satin are best reserved for winter holidays.

Kathi is a professional organizer, image consultant and event planner based in San Diego California.

Please submit your questions to: advice@addspacetoyourlife.com
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San Diego Professional Organizer